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Half Ass // Ass Whole

by Average Joey

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    Includes a copy of "I Am a Monster" - A 58 page collection of poetry and writing & A physical CD of Half Ass // Ass Whole

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1.
Parable 03:44
In these times some gifts are vindictive but creativity will never be submissive built up strength and a baby was born she wore her mama's face and she carried it all her own Tools of abuse beat schools of thought systematic indifference to the joy that you've brought a crown of thorns, a broken down thrown picked up all the pieces, built something of her own She says life's too hard for these everyday martyrs I think I'm gonna cry from joy or sorrow I can't quite decide life's easy if you don't ask why Dance on the canvas, just make your message clear interpret the permanence of ever changing tears we weep and we grow we reap what we've sown Diggin' deep between the lines to find a meaning all our own Some mysteries are better left undetected stolen histories never resurrected when all that dirt turns us into stone the statues that are carved won't resemble us at all She says life's too long, it keeps draggin' on I'm wondering when I'm gonna die but life's too short and I ain't got the time to think about a thing like time So plant a seed and let's see what springs up there no chance in Hell but we've gotta start somewhere try to find a place we can call our home that feeling starts inside, and we carry it all our own Small victories and setbacks all the same where the flashin' lights direct you just head the other way you never asked to be born but you were, and you face it all alone but a helpin' hand with a heavy heart, you won't have to carry it all your own She says life's all shit and you just can't win no matter how hard you try but it keeps me amused I learn more when I lose so keep that look in your eye keep that fire alive keep that spark inside look up to the sky
2.
I drove a new born baby home from the hospital on her very first car ride balloons blocking the rear view the whole time I've dealt with drunken misogynists and homophobes who are proud of their ignorance I've had long conversations with queer women of color about the importance and the nature of poetry I've been a driver for drug deals, chauffeur to strip clubs, gamblers at the casino who had won big, and some who'd lost it all I've been stiffed by stuffy businessmen who discuss their new accounts on the way to the airport I've been tipped well by the waitress gettin' off the late shift workin' paycheck to paycheck to feed her kids You're only as healthy as you feel I picked up a woman in Mt. Washington being comforted by her mother and she said "They shot my brother, oh god they shot my brother" I drove her to Hazelwood in relative silence besides a prayer or a whimper from time to time When we arrived on the scene there were police squads and a news team she said "How much do I owe ya?" I said ".....no, of course don't worry about it, Idk what else to say, I'm sorry" She opened up the door, stepped out of the cab and in the loving arms of a neighbor, she collapsed There's no escape, I am God's lonely man A little girl and her mom had forgotten something vital when they flew to the big city for the big ballet recital Unpacking her luggage at the hotel and then it hit her She forgot to pack her ballet slippers! They called all around the town searching for the perfect pair A real Cinderella story she was gettin' real worried until the place on 51, they saved the day But wait, there's more! It was closing time for the store so they entrusted those shoes behind the counter with some dude at the gas station next door So, off we went they were thankin' me, I was thankin' them mission complete the girl was so happy the mom was so relieved that's where the story ends for me, but not for them Are you talkin' to me? There's nobody else here, you must be talkin' to me I picked up an old woman from the hospital dealin' with chronic pain She was cranky and mean along the way I tried to start some small talk asked if she liked that ice cream spot there on the corner? "There's always a long line, ya know? So I figure it must be pretty good" She said "Ice Cream is Ice Cream, I don't see the big deal" We pulled into her driveway, she gave me two twenty dollar bills I said "ma'am, you've made a mistake. You gave me two twenty dollar bills" She said "no, that's for you, thanks for the ride" She struggled to get out of the cab She struggled to get up the stairs I asked if she'd like some help she said "I can do this myself" Then she began to weep quietly and soft I got another call so I drove off
3.
4.
Twisted Lips 04:45
There's a road that leads to God knows where And the Angels don't guard it, and the demons don't care The signs the guide you lie to you so hide or they will find you There's a road that leads to God knows where There's a statue of stone pointing home With a crow on the shoulder, but the head is gone How would it know the way, frozen in decay There's a statue of stone pointing home There's a forest singin' a chorus through the trees The spirits in the lyrics whisper you make beliefs The song belongs to you but you're out of touch and out of tune There's a forest singin' a chorus through the trees There's a cave with engravings of fortunes told Hectic breath crystallizes in the dampened cold The echos start to take on a voice all of their own There's a cave with engravings of fortunes told There's a castle that can block out the stars With marvelous markings locked out by the guards There's a wall that won't come down, a warning written in the clouds There's a castle that can block out the stars There's a kingdom built on what you think should be And in it there's a king who fancies himself free But at the end of his reign he'll be beheaded or enslaved There's a kingdom built on what you think should be There's a mob with the mentality of war With views skewed to a sword to settle up the score You can silently abhor or speak up and be ignored There's a mob with the mentality of war There's a memory of better times forgotten Now the fresh picked fruit is all spoiled and rotten And an effigy can never be a replacement for the energy For the memory of better times forgotten The monster in me's sinkin' in his teeth Claws are thrashin' at the person that I long to be I know no growth so show no remorse for me As the monster in me sinks in his teeth The God you worship's startin' to grow horns So kill your idols before they kill themselves in cruciform Before you can mourn idle hands begin to form Into the playthings of whom you've been warned So sing to me as I drift off to sleep Tell me that you love me and kiss me on the cheek Stick a blade in my rib cage, unlock it and let me free Wear a dress of red to my funeral and curse me quietly
5.
6.
Bonny Boy 04:31
Spinning hella hellish stories of devils and heavenly glory Ignore the normalcy I’m bored in this purgatory Deplorable, adorable, I’m not to be admired A liar with my guts all gone, I flinch in front of the fire I put my ego on an alter so I’ve got an alter ego every where that we go he’s a hero, always cheerful, I’m bound to be profound and deceased or forgotten and rotten with honest beliefs I try and shed some light but the darkness overpowers me casting vast shadows that grasp a hold and devour me My wicked ways have chipped away at the friendly gaze in a strangers face now all I can see are the demons in me reflections projectin’ the evil in me I feel no connection I feed off rejection I speak with inflection to seem healthy but it’s a façade I’m facetious indeed dropped outta school I don’t need a degree to scream at a wall till my voice box bleed destroy myself and call it my dream preach to the choir and call it a scene and claim to maintain living happy and free I’m plotting my escape in a cell of my own invention servin’ sentences in personal hell of intention visions of a healthy self overpowered by contentment Never learn my lesson, I’m not myself, I’m an only impression Dancin’ with the devil to heavy metal for the hell of it don’t give a shit don’t give a fuck like I’m constipated and celibate Spit cantrips and cast a spell you can tell my soul I’m sellin’ it I’m quick with a quip and quit when I win, don’t play with me I’m delicate The spiders that I eat in my sleep are crawlin’ back up through my teeth to wrap me up in a web of deceit and feast on my freaky dreams standing in formation it’s the age of information change the station praise the nation everyday is a vacation selfish celebrations and group think negations Frankenstein society stitched up abomination inhumane creators with no name for our creation I go coast to coast like space ghost In hopes of invoking the spirits of overly verbose stoic poets playing host to the souls of radicals and hobos the dispossessed and disposed will deal a deadly dose of prose as they speak through me I raise a toast and propose to carry on the legends illuminate the present using vengeance as our weapon we will question what is threatened we must protect the essence become possessed by our obsession set a precedent to pay attention the presence carry on the essence carry on the essence
7.
I try and keep my mind wide open relate to all that I see but when my spirits are lookin' up you know that must come down I swear dark clouds are followin' me around I try and keep my heart wide open my love ain't locked away with no key but everytime I give my heart away it always comes back broken It's so hard to take it easy But I keep on roamin' around keep doin' what I do keep a smile on my face but I always end up singin' the blues keep lookin' for a truth to ease my troubled mind but all I find is a pack of lies why do I even try? It's funny how livin' makes you wanna die I try and keep my mouth shut so's not to step on someone's toes but when the whiskey hits my lips my foot goes in my mouth I'll go ahead and see my own way out but I keep on roamin' around keep lookin' for a clue keep a smile on my face but I always end up singin' the blues keep lookin' for a truth to ease my troubled mind but all I find is a pack of lies why do I even try? It's funny how livin' makes you wanna die But I know that road is wide open so I think I'll head on down the line laughin' all along the way no matter which way I'm goin' It's funny how livin' makes you wanna die
8.
We are the anarchists who don't do anything we just sit at home and lay around and if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you we don't do anything I never popped a squat and I don't serve food not bombs and I've never been locked up because I don't protest at all I never fly a black flag and ACAB's just a hashtag and I never fight for capitalism's fall I never hopped a freight train and I never read Kropotkin but I always tag a Circle A on the bathroom stall the way I fight the man is by using my food stamps and I never fight for capitalism's fall I'm a Cis White Male and I don't send prisoners mail but I read a Crimethinc Zine so I probably know it all I leave dishes in the sink and all I wanna do is drink but there's no Mad Dog when Capitalism falls
9.
I can’t keep living like this Holding a grudge against myself I can’t keep tightening a fist I must reach my hand out I want to empathize If only it were that easy I want to apologize I hope the world can forgive me For the dead, for the asleep For the people clinging to a dream For the numb for the aware For the brave who are fucking scared For the strong and for the weak For the lovers of this world I weep For the artists who die or quit because their passion makes them sick For the war and for the poor For those we choose to ignore For the veteran living on the street And the hero he wanted to be For assimilation to a vacant nation For my submission to domination For those who fear a sunny sky Because liberation might strike any time For the victim for the cop Everyone who’s just doing their job For the bird locked in a cage And the prisoners who keep someone paid For the structures that wall us in People who say “That’s just the way it is” For everyone doing what they think is right But can’t figure out what’s wrong with their life For the wish and the command For the stifling invisible hand For the cause that is called lost The struggle thats a holocaust For the money and time spent To do evil and then repent For the child that makes my clothes For the goddamned CEO’s For the culture that consumes And the hope of impending doom For the glory and remorse Those who see the forest for the resource For the cattle and the slaughterhouse For taking part it what we all renounce For the people who can barely cope With what some call a good joke For the offensive undertones Of a place that I call home For the privilege I take for granted And comments that are heavy handed For the enlightened and the ignorant Who see the simple and the complex For heaven sent furious flame The angels and the demons fighting in my brain For the rise and for the fall For the nothingness that created all For all these songs, all this cheap talk For all the bad things I have thought
10.
Pride? What exactly should I be proud of? An economy with a foundation of slavery native genocide speculative banking lobbyists corporate money in control of politicians fast food social media addiction big pharmaceutical sponsored opioide addiction shopping malls fucking Arby’s factory farms GMO’s billboards sexual predators in elected office suburbs strip mall parking lots obese children spiritually disconnected families and communities neighbors who don’t know each other’s names isolated work environments nuclear families gender roles heteronormativity hypermasculinity minimum wage slaves underpaid migrant workers deportation border control prison profiteering mandatory minimums military industrial complex largest prison population on the planet oil pipelines destroying ecosystems Standing Rock burns to the ground gerrymandering political apathy consumerism celebrity obsession 3/5th contract lazy radicals republicans fucking liberals police brutality racial injustice sexual misconduct patriarchy bro culture donald fucking trump led in the drinking water fantasy football concrete and telephone wires imperialism proxy wars drone strikes innocent casualties war mongering nuclear arsenals economic inequality class war wage gaps gentrification structured poverty internalized misogyny internalized racism titty magazines the petting zoo land theft staging a coup for democratically elected communist leaders and propping up and supporting dictators in south America manufacturing weapons to fund terrorism in the middle east after destabilizing the entire region the red scare witch hunts a white skinned, blue eyed, blond haired Jesus Fucking Christ co-opted and appropriated religion the church collection tray school shootings mega-churches televangelists cool cars gasoline Fossil fuels exhaust fumes alcoholism bar culture pill pushing doctors’ prescriptions matthew mconnahe trying to sell me a Lincoln the alt-right islamaphobia xenophobia suicide divorce college debt big buildings trendy haircuts kanye west diamond rings from blood mines hipsters another day at the office traffic jams forest fires fracking hurricanes climate disaster ecological destruction extinct species fetishized consumerism High fructose corn syrup christmas music plastic packaging all that fucking trash heaps of burning tires plastic islands in the ocean insurance companies CEO’s lack of affordable healthcare “stress” culture luxury loft apartments white people complacency executive businessman who pinches the secretary on the ass because he thinks it’s playful iphones techies social media driven egocentric obsession make-up pyramid schemes the secretary of state is an Exxon CEO the head of the EPA doesn’t “believe” in climate change the attorney general is a racist the KKK lynch mobs mass surveillance data breaches “nudes” netflix binges vietnam draft cards the great depression the dust bowl bacon bits disneyland black friday soda pop What the fuck do I have to be proud of? The only thing I like about this country is some of the landscape and some of the people and that has nothing to do with your lines in the sand or your stars and stripes. You’re worried about kneeling? I’ll wipe my ass with that fucking flag. It’s a piece of cloth that represents nothing but ugly. I do not respect it. I truly pity anyone fooled by this false narrative fairy tale of “dying for freedom”. I support troops only because they are people who were duped into thinking they’d be cared for if they killed for. However, I will never support war and the only thing soldiers have ever died for is the imperialist whims of the greedy and powerful in search of the spoils of war. Land, power, oil, more, more, more, more! You’ve got a salute slammed into a vacant skull and your hand on a hole where your heart should be. So, Fuck You America
11.
Noble Goof 02:33
With eyes adjusted to the darkness when you see the light it's blinding within the struggle the hungry and humble are finding a new sense of self, a new kind of wealthy, unholy glory paint your own picture, write your own scripture, tell your own story So with a melody in our pockets and hunger in our hearts with the songs we wrote a purpose our emptiness became an art a literal Homeless Gospel Choir preachin' to ourselves the word passed through us and nobody knew us but already a connection was felt we abandoned all dillusion about ever coming to any conclusions our dream seemed like a sickness we were victims of our convictions In the simplest of coincidence there's a glimpse of some complex system purity in immaturity divinity in silliness We saw the light at the top of the mountain it looked so much dreamier from down here and the flow we follow fearlessly has shown us that uncertainty is surely the only thing that's clear A shrug of our shoulders makes us much bolder than clarity or conviction ever could with all fears to confront and work to be done it's all bullshit, let's have some fun!

about

Music and Lyrics by Joey Schuller
Engineered, Recorded, and Mixed by Kasey Fusco at ETC Studios

Featured Musicians:
James Bristol – Stand Up Bass on Twisted Lips & Livin' and Dyin' Rag
Jose Ochoa – Clarinet on Twisted Lips
Chris Fazio – Fiddle on Glitter Mistake
Trumpet on Livin’ and Dyin’
Kasey Fusco - Electric Guitar on Open Ended Apologies

“Bonny Boy” is sampled from “Mad Tom o Bedlam” by Trees
"Anarchists Who Don't Do Anything" is a Veggietales parody

The photo for the cover was taken by Paaya

credits

released March 10, 2018

Thanks first and foremost to Kasey Fusco for his unending patience and support. He is the true unsung hero of the 4th River Music Collective.

Thanks also to Courtney Becker, Val Jackson, Courtney CoCo, Joe Miller, and Chris Blake for letting me borrow your vehicles to get to the studio to record this album. Also thanks for being my family.

Thanks to Mac for letting me use your nice banjo to record.

Thanks to Scott Eaton and Greg Sipes for having me as a guest of a cabin in the redwoods where most of this album was written

Thanks for all your continued support, help and love:

Sean Kelly, Tricia Dignon, All my bandmates, 4th River Music Collective, OWL Hollow, Campbell Club, Mom, Grandma and Mike.
Thanks to all who’ve ever helped along the way while travelling. I’ll try and pay it forward if I can.

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Average Joey Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Poet with a banjo!

Writer of Songs

Livin' in a Van

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